Just the Way He Wants it...

Have you ever made a decision to do something completely radical, but everyone around you was completely against it? They were SURE it wasn't what was best for you. They knew what would make you happy. What would be best for you in the long run. 

But you just knew. They were WRONG. They had to be. Surely this wasn't what God wanted for you!

But how did you know that it was the right choice?

Did it turn out to be the best thing you have ever done? 

Has it completely changed the course of your life? 

Brought you to right where you needed to be?

It happened to me.

Right there. I remember the evening so clearly. I was all alone. I was so upset. I was miserable. Exhausted. Completely spent. 

And right there. I felt a presence. A presence telling me to kneel. To cry out to God. And when I did, the craziest thing happened....

Peace.

Can you imagine it? It still gives me goose-bumps. It still inspires me. I felt that God was there. Right there in the thick of my worst night. Waiting for me. With open arms. Ready for me to come to Him and drink of His everlasting water.

It would be a perfect story if I could tell you that I completely changed my life right at that moment and never sinned again.

But I would be lying.

I struggled with it. I struggled with giving over power of my life to God. 

Wow. Writing those words out now. Man, what a struggle. But why?

Because I thought I knew what was best for me. Because I am selfish. I wanted things to turn out exactly the way I thought they should. People to say the words I wanted to hear. Comfort me the way I knew I needed to be comforted. Do the things I knew they should do to be happy. To make me happy. To make this fairy-tale ending come true.

But they aren't me. And they are selfish too.

But God knew me. He knew I needed that night. To stand up for myself. To stand firm in the decisions I had made. And to empower me to stay faithful to Him. Even after I fumbled later on.

I still struggle some days. But I know the faith that I have is only growing each and every time.

Look, I will never claim to have all the answers. My hope for this blogging experience - to somehow... someway... be there for someone. To empower you to keep the faith. To explore your faith if you haven't even gotten that far. And if you don't believe - at all - not even a little bit - that you would maybe, just maybe, explore it a little.

When you go through a struggle in your life. When nothing seems to be going right, sometimes a strong person will come through for you. And sometimes that strong person is you. 

One of my very best friends told me "Maybe this is something God intentionally brought into your life to give you the life you've always wanted." At the time, those were very hard words to swallow. But it's what I needed to hear. It made me really think about things differently. 

Maybe God wasn't punishing me for not being faithful to Him, but maybe He was doing whatever it took to get my attention. And He did. And it worked. 

Look, I realize this may be controversial. I know it may not make sense in your situation. But it did in mine. Once I took this perspective, I was able to see the beauty that could  come from this. 

Yes, it would challenge me. It wouldn't be easy. But I was sure. It would be worth it.

Isn't everything worth having that way?

If you are always given everything in your life, you never really appreciate it. But something you put your blood, sweat and tears into? It suddenly becomes more precious. More significant. The victory so much better.

And I couldn't agree more. 

The best lessons I have learned in life, I've had to overcome something to learn it. 

Maybe it was forgetting my own pain and trying to understand the person who had hurt me. Why they were doing it? What could they have been thinking or feeling? 

Yeah. I did. That's just me. 

Sometimes when you are in the middle of the storm, you do things that you regret. Or sometimes you do something completely heroic. Something you never thought you would be capable of doing. 

Standing up for myself has never been more satisfying. When you stand up for what is important to you, you find out who will always stand beside you.

You understand what you stand for. And what you are made of. 

And it can be so refreshing.