Happiness

Something that really bothers me is this concept of happiness. Maybe it's because I see way to many pins on Pinterest that just blatantly elude to this concept of happiness at all cost. 

Do whatever you want, whatever the cost, to be happy.

Um… What??

Believe me, I do want to be happy.  I am happy most of the time. So that's definitely not it.

But it seems that so many people use this "excuse" (for lack of a better word) - their pursuit of happiness - to excuse their behavior.

Do you know what that screams to me? 

In one word…. Selfishness.

We are all selfish.

But what bothers me the most, is that the idea of character is lost on some people. There is no integrity. There is no sense of responsibility. There is no care for anything else in this world - other than making yourself happy.

When did the world get this way? Why is this? Why are people just mean to other people?

A friend of mine mentioned some quote she saw that just made her sick. About if anything in your life no longer makes you happy, walk away from it.

What? Excuse me?!?! 

Just give up? 

I realize that we are in 2013 and all, and that statistically MOST of us who are married will divorce. But I wonder if more of us quit worrying about making ourselves superficially happy, and just tried to love people - not only when they are easy to love - if that statistic would change. 

It doesn't have to be about marriage. It's in our friendships. When someone craves drama, they want to be in the middle of yours. When someone just needs someone to talk to, and you are a good listener, there they are. But are you surprised when they are unavailable or unwilling to listen when you need to talk? 

Yes, I'm familiar with the Mean Girls movie. Yes, I still think it's funny. As fiction. 

What worries me is what will my daughter grow up to see in her lifetime? I'm still shocked and awed at the audacity of people. The thought that people give no consideration to other people unless there is something in it for them.

God has commanded us to love Him first. Our spouse second. Children and family next. And OTHERS. Not specific ones. ALL of them. 

Do you realize how hard that is? To love people who have wronged you - even those who intentionally inflict pain on you. People who are completely different from you. People who believe different than you. 

Gosh, it's really hard. But I've learned and realized that His ways are usually right. And as I've really looked hard at why I could not forgive certain people. I realized that I didn't have to have the perfect potion. I didn't have to hear certain words. Heck, I didn't even have to hear them SEEK forgiveness. 

Some people are truly "mean girls" (and guys) for lack of a better world. Some people are hardened by the hard times they have experienced in their lives. For the ways other people have treated them. They've been hurt so much before that they are only looking for happiness. And in all honesty, I don't think it's happiness they are looking for. I full heartedly believe that they have a longing in their soul (like we all do) that something is missing. That there is something more.

And there is… It's found in Jesus Christ. This is the purest form of love. From our heavenly Father.

When you seek to forgive someone who you do not feel even deserves your forgiveness. You have every reason to be angry and hateful towards them. But that anger. It eats you alive. It hurts you from the inside. It causes you (not them) to be punished. For you to not heal. Not let it go. It poisons your soul. Bitterness ensues. And you are… just a mess.

If there is anyone in your life that you harbor anger or bitterness towards, forgive them. Pray. God will take it away. He will soften you in the in between. He will put peace in your heart. And you will be free. Free from the bondage of anger and bitterness.

In this life, people are going to hurt you. They are going to let you down. But you can choose to have a heart that sees the best in people. That even though they are not doing exactly what you want them to - that they are doing their best. When you can see that glimmer in them, it's worth it. 

Love is worth it. I love so many people in my life. I think that's only fair. When they have touched your life so much, that you love them. They are your family. Even if you don't share blood. 

A quote I saw recently from Joel Osteen, "You may not understand someone, but you don't have to understand them to love them. You don't have to agree with them to accept them. That's why it's called unconditional love."

Another quote from a Facebook group I follow, "If you only love people who never let you down, you'll live a lonely life, because everybody (including you) will let you down eventually."

Yes. Most definitely.

Loving people through the hard times. Knowing that this relationship is worth the fight. You may end up with some bruises, or even scars. But you will have a deeper appreciation, a deeper connection with this person. You will know that you will always have their back and they will always have yours. And that is priceless.

If you gain anything from this post, please let it be that happiness is not the answer. Happiness is great. Don't get me wrong. 

But the real answer - is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

And only then can you truly love anyone else. Including yourself.

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Found this tonight after my original post, pretty much sums it all up.