Today's post came from a blog I follow. I've only recently began following it. #SheReadsTruth.
Sidebar -
Maybe you are new to blogs and wondering how it's possible to follow them, it's easy. Usually you can follow by email, but in all honesty, most of us already get way too many emails to keep up. I'm not sure how I was introduced to it originally (probably from another blog- ha), but an easy way to keep up with the ones you like or want to follow - check out bloglovin. You don't have to have your own blog - I didn't at first. And it shows them all in a feed (similar to Facebook). And you can click on "Mark as Read" if you've already seen it another way, or just aren't interested. Or you can just read all the posts from one blog you follow, whichever. It's pretty cool - and you can follow me there too.
Back to the point of this point - Here is the post I read earlier - http://shereadstruth.com/2014/02/13/love-one-another/
Take a moment and read it. It's really good.
Now, I know some of you can be put off by overly Christian posts, to that, I say, I'm sorry - but it's my blog and I'll do what I want to. Or something like that.. :)
But there is truth here. Regardless of your beliefs. Here is the part that was most - eye-opening / inspiring / just truth telling really - for me.
"But why equate hating our brothers and sisters with something as horrendous and irreversible as murder?
Because love – the kind of love that Christ lives and teaches – is life-giving.
Because withholding love is withholding the life that only love can give.
Because when we allow negative feelings to grow into hatred, we are essentially standing opposed to another’s well-being, to their very life.
Because hatred is murder in the heart.
The good news? We can choose not to be Cain.We can choose to be life-givers instead of life-takers.
(Lord, may it be so!)"
Wow. Just wow. Because love... I can't be speaking only for myself when I say this, but a lot of us just hate certain people. Maybe they were rude. Maybe they really hurt you. Maybe they did something unthinkable. Maybe even unforgivable. But when you do that, you let that emotion control you. When you hate something like that, you are feeding the fire within you. And not the good one.
Let's take a step back. If I've learned anything over the past few years on this journey of finding myself in Christ, is that the most unforgivable thing that someone can do to you - something you don't think you could ever forgive. I've learned that you can forgive. It's freeing, and it's part of the healing process. And you need to do it. To relinquish the control that Satan and that hatred have taken over you and just feel the release.
The truth is - people will hurt us. Whether they mean to or not. And the other side is - we can forgive them. It may take time. It may seem impossible at times, but they are human. And as much as you want to play the martyr - to be innocent - the truth is that you are human to. And surely you have hurt someone else as well. Maybe you reason that it's not the same - that this, this ONE thing that they did TO YOU, it was the worst. Is it still not sin? Sin is sin is sin.
And what if they never ask for forgiveness. And you are being self-righteous and holding out on that release until they do. What then?
Do you remain miserable and hating that person for the rest of your life?
How sad is that!
I fully believe that the hatred we hold inside of us - it hurts us more than it hurts the other person. They most likely seem themselves free of the situation and moving on (and that's if they even admit they did something wrong in the first place). And there you are, steaming. Spending your precious time here on Earth hating them.
Maybe you won't ever love them like that. But maybe you will forgive them and let that hatred go at least. And whether you choose to admit it or not. That forgiveness - it helps YOU. It helps you heal. It helps you have peace again.
In doing that, you are loving. Loving yourself enough to know that enough is enough.
The most poignant line (to me) in the excerpt above is "Because hatred is murder in the heart."
This line perfectly illustrates what hatred does to us. In murders us. From the inside out.
Maybe you don't hate someone because they did something to you. Maybe you hate them because they have something you want. Or they accomplished more than you have. Or they seemingly have perfect kids. Or a perfect husband. Or whatever it is.
Also remember, that even though what you are going through in life seems like the most important thing at the moment. You have no idea what other people are choosing to not share with you.
As I've opened up to people, I've realized quite a few of these people have stories they aren't so open with initially. It's amazing to know that when you feel like the only person in the world with this particular problem, that there are so many people close to you who have either gone through someone similar (or are going through at the moment) or know someone who has.
And while I'm not saying that you should always be 100% transparent with everyone you meet. When you get to a point in a relationship with someone that you trust them, you respect them and their beliefs, maybe opening up to them with something you are struggling with, maybe it's the right time. Only you can really judge if it's the right time.
But in doing so, in my personal experience, I've found some amazing people to support me. To send me notes of encouragement, or love and hope. And sometimes even just a funny joke.
I've had some great friendships in the past. Some I thought would never end. But people get caught up in life. Or you do something they don't agree with and they can't or won't support you. It's the right time for these people to walk away. Or you to choose to walk away.
Friendships matter.
But I still love them. I don't hate them for not supporting me. Sure, it hurts to have a gaping hole where those people once were. But I still love them. For blessing my life as long as they did.
You have to be honest with yourself. And realize that it doesn't matter how long someone has been in your life.
The truth is - nothing is permanent.
Life happens.
Cancer happens.
Death happens.
Maybe it's not always that morbid. But you can't control it. You just have to keep on living your life to the best of your ability. And keeping those who add life to your life, keeping them close. And making sure they know they are loved. And sharing your real self with them along the way.
Wow, this post went from love to friendships to well, probably where it was supposed to go.
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