Step 1: The Why

I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to find the right way to be healthier - not only losing weight, but also to feel better. To not pollute my body with man made things - sodas, boxed cookies and snacks, etc.

But, a fact that we, well the vast majority of us, know - is that it is a hard thing to actually do.

Convenience. And time-starved schedules continue to make it hard on us. 

But is that really a reason, or more of just an excuse.

Some days - maybe it feels like they are more than just excuses, but other days. It's just a bold faced lie. 

So this is my Step 1. My reasons Why. And my Step 1 Goals.

My Big Whys:

1) To be healthy. 

2) To be a role model for my daughter.

3) To feel more confident.

4) To be strong.

My Step 1 Goals

1) Limit Coffee & Soda to one per day

2) Drink 100oz of Water a day (oh boy!)

3) Meal Plan & Grocery Shop on Saturdays

4) Food Prep on Sundays

5) Exercise at least 2 times a week.

Those may seem like such simple goals. But I know I will struggle with each and every one of them.

The first goal - I typically have coffee at least twice a day. A soda or two potentially. But limiting that 2-3 per day habit to just one.

Here's a little Soda limiting motivation - 

Yikes!!

As far as Meal Planning - it has happened in the past. Although, it tends to be a Sunday thing. And shopping on Sunday as well. Which led to little effort - or "want to" to actually meal prep.

The hardest part is meeting the needs of everyone in the house. My husband likes to go low-carb. My daughter has gluten and nut allergies. And I try to follow the 21-day Fix Diet or Whole 30.

This time, I'm planning on following Whole 30. Breakfast and lunch are a can-do as long as there is planning and meal prepping on Sunday before the week starts. Evening meals are another story, and will take planning, but also lots of recipe searches to find the right one for the week.

Exercise. Oh boy, I always feel great afterwards, but sometimes finding the time - or the right time - can be a challenge. Starting at two seems simple, but I don't want to immediately set myself up for failure.

So, maybe seemingly small goals, but definitely a small step in the right direction.

The hard part is definitely the mind part.

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The War Room

I can't even remember how I found out about this movie, but I did. And I can't express how excited I am about this coming out. I have followed Beth Moore & Priscilla Shirer, just to name a few, for years. And am so excited to see them both in this movie.

Watch the trailer and let me know what you think.

And then. There is the subject matter. I think just about everyone who is a Christian has struggled with keeping the fire and passion in your heart for your faith. Maybe not. But I sure have. Sometimes things seemingly get so bad, sometimes only in your mind, where you just have no fight - no passion - left like you once did. 

Reading about this movie and the individuals involved has only sparked more of an interest in me to get back to that passion. To come up with prayer strategy and fight for what it is you want. In prayer. The way it is supposed to be.

Priscilla Shirer also has a book that was released, called Fervent. I'm only a few chapters in, and WOW. I've highlighted most of the book. I've underlined, circled, and noted down things that came to mind.

The movie comes out at the end of the month, and I can hardly wait to see it. 

And since it has been in the news just this week, I just want to share this. I've heard it numerous times and it's so very touching. I hope we all leave stones behind to inspire the generation we leave behind.

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Thanksgiving Travel - Making our way to Paradise.

My parents have started this tradition a while back. To get all of us (there are 3 siblings, all married, with kids) together in one place to enjoy a holiday. 

So the tradition is that every 2 years, we go on a Thanksgiving trip together. 

2011 brought San Diego.

2013, well, brought my mother breaking her leg about 4 weeks before we were scheduled to leave for our trip to Hawaii.

Luckily, 2014 finally came, and we ALL travelled to Maui.

Our flight from Arkansas was easy. Beautiful skies all the way to Dallas.

*Don't mind her face, she was happy and talking my ear off

Once we got to Dallas however, it was another story. Our flight to Maui was rescheduled from noon, just about hour by hour until about 7pm when we finally left. Did I mention we got to Dallas around 9am? Luckily, we were traveling with my sister, her husband and her two kids. So we explored.

*Sad by all the delays

Luckily, we were able to finally leave and get on our way!

It may have been one of the bumpiest rides I've ever been on, but we made it. Very very late. And then had to get our rental car and drive 20-30 minutes to the resort. But.. we made it.

And Kate & I just couldn't wait any longer to check out the beach (it was the middle of the night when we got there). So not being able to sleep, we trekked out to the beach very very early in the morning.

* The view from the beach.

*The view from the lobby towards the beach.

*Sunning by the pool and enjoying the view of the ocean.

*Enjoying an afternoon Tea by the pool

This place is gorgeous. I could just move here (and Kate has asked plenty of times since we've been home to do just that)… Ahh, if only...

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Dieting, again...

Over the years, I have dieted. And dieted. And dieted.

And nothing has changed.

I remember even at the age of 15, doing the Nutrisystem diet with my dad. What a depressing thought. 

At the time, I thought, cool… this will be a piece of cake… I mean.. easy, right? 

In hindsight, I've always had a problem with my weight. Maybe not "always". But it has sure felt like it.

As a kid, I was outdoors a lot. The youngest of three kids and active as could be. I remember playing in our backyard by myself. Riding my bike. Pretending so much. And today, our kids are growing up with mini-tvs (iPads) with "apps". Not mud pies. Not learning to ride bikes for the thrill of it. Apps.

So as a kid, weight wasn't a problem. 

But as I grew up to be a moody, emotionally charged young lady. I just wasn't as active. I still had piano lessons, or dance classes, or what have you. I loved singing and dancing around to music. Bop magazine (ha!) and I'm sure a million other equally embarrassing things. 

But eventually I got into my clique of friends, hanging out with them, sleepovers, late night phone calls to boys (and girls too - do you remember party calls?).

I remember one very important Christmas when my dad finally got me my own private phone line (no call waiting) AND… wait for it, ANSWERING MACHINE. Doesn't anyone even know what those are these days??

My point is that, around that same time. I changed. I quit being so active. I became immensely self conscious. Maybe more self-aware. But I do remember feeling ashamed for not being tiny. Or popular. Or too-something-or-other. Or maybe it was not-enough of something.

And thus, my love affair with diets strangely began. In my early teens. 

So, first things first. What have I tried. This is going to be a long list. And probably pretty embarrassing.

1. Nutrisystem

2. Weight Watchers (a LOT)

3. Medical diets (via a great hospital, but only consuming 800 calories a day - in shakes)

4. Phentermine

5. The Diet Center

6. HCG

7. Jenny Craig

8. Watching calories

9. Low Carb / Atkins

10. Blood Type Diet

11. Yeast/Sugar/Soy/Gluten free diet (all together, and some apart)

I'm sure there are even more. Sadly enough.

The truth is. None of them worked. Sure, maybe for a small time. I think the max on any on of those was about 20-25 pounds. Which was… amazing. 

But why would they never stick? Well, it's kind of a strange thing I've noticed in myself, and it makes a lot of sense. Once we, dieters in general, get to a "goal" or a "I feel so good about myself" (I'm fitting into a new size, I'm confident in how I look, etc), we tend to get back into our old habits. We move from being so into the diet of the day and finally feeling great again, and then… the old habits creep back in, and we start right back over.

So, did you notice one thing that was missing from my list of diets above? They lack a very common, and very important component.

Exercise.

Now, honestly, I've walked more. I've tried some videos. I've tried running. But again, life gets in the way. I'm not "athletic". I'm not "good at it", etc. Whatever the excuse happens to be.

So, what now?

Well, quite honestly. I'm frustrated. I'm tired of where I am. I'm tired of that "crazy" cycle (yes, there is a name for it). I'm ready for a change. 

Heck, I'm IN the change.

I've found a program that I feel comfortable with. I'm going to give it a little more time, sure. It could be another failure. But why should it have to be?

I can't explain it. Something feels different. The people in my accountability group have been amazing and encouraging.

Maybe that's the difference. Or maybe I'm different. Whatever the cause. It's time. 

So what is different? Exercise. A real diet. Minimal (to NONE) packaged foods - I mean, yogurt and cottage cheese is packaged I guess, but real food at least. 

And you know what? One week later.

An epiphany. I DO like Exercise. 

I griped and complained for a while that this hurt or that hurt the day after. 

But yesterday. I committed to it, I did my normal exercise video, then added in an additional Ab workout video. I mean, who is this girl?

I don't know, but I'm starting to like her. 

So what now? 

Honestly, I don't know. But I kind of like that. I'm beginning to shift my focus from my superficial goals - when some piece of clothing is a certain size, etc. To, my gosh - I can't wait until I can do these exercises full out (not having to have an extra rest, or modify to a simpler form, etc).

Maybe what is keeping me interested is that the exercises are not the same everyday, and they are most definitely challenging every day.

Whatever this is. I want to keep it. I like how confident I feel after completing just the exercise video. And after successfully planning my food for the day, and not having to scramble and make stupid food choices I always regret later.

And you know what is pretty cool. This cute, sassy little 8 year girl we are raising - SHE is definitely noticing. I have never seen so much joy on her face than seeing me ready to work out, and RUNNING to change her clothes and work out WITH me. It's not all rainbows and sunshine. Her "this is easy" comments are very frustrating. But she loves the extra bonding time. And I love that we are getting to share this. And hopefully, just hopefully, changing both of our habits, and beginning to make better choices for BOTH of our futures.

So what are my goals? 

- Overall - lose 50 pounds. Oh boy!

- Get healthy. Even if a 50 pound weight loss becomes unachievable.

- Exercise at LEAST 5x a week.

- Focus on what I'm putting IN my body

- And most importantly, inspire others.

Over the next few weeks, I'll explain more on the program I'm following, as well as my progress. 

And if you want to give it a try, let me know. I'd love to answer your questions and help you in any way I can. This program or not.

Read On >>>

Well, well, well..

My attempts to continue to blog on a regular basis continue to fail. However, I'm back at it again for now. 

A lot has happened in the past, gosh, EIGHT months!! Can that be? EIGHT months since my last blog post?

Some of my co-workers and I were out at lunch the other day, and as we are all in our 30s (and some closer to the big 4-0), it seems like time really just flies by faster. Maybe it's just because we are older and continue to lose track of things… like time. But I think a lot of it has to do with us just being busier in life. Work, family, kids, work… It all just runs together.

And if there is anything more indicative that I've been way busier than normal - mainly with work it seems. Is that last week I was blessed with the occurrence of Shingles. Yes, in my mid-30s. With Shingles. Apparently it's not that uncommon amongst the "younger" kids (i.e. - those that fall within my age bracket). I just happened to luck out and get it. As my doctor tried to explain that they don't really know what causes it, or rather - brings it on - they assume stress, or a weakened immune system. Which was just fitting since I was also diagnosed with a Sinus Infection. 

I spent TWO who days in BED. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've just laid in bed. And did nothing. And been SOOOO exhausted. Luckily, my boss (and my boss's boss) are amazing supportive, and told me to concentrate on taking care of myself. So I worked from home the rest of the week as much as I could. Feeling back to my old self by the end of the weekend, I went back to work on Monday, anddddddd… Tuesday I had to leave early. The pain is unbearable. But it's getting better.

It helps that we have an amazing trip planned in 3 weeks. With my entire family. 

Which is one of the reasons, I'm so excited about receiving this in the mail TODAY!!!

Food and Exercise all planned out leading up to the day before we fly. 21 days - Here. I. Come. Here's to building some beach confidence before the trip!! I'll post a before and after when I'm done. And no, I'm not just looking for a quick fix. I've been trying to find a program that works for me FOR A LONG TIME. I've tried SOOO many. But the truth is. This one is pretty simple. 30 minute work outs a day. And a pretty simple meal plan. All real food. No bars. No quick fixes. And hopefully real results.

Has anyone else tried this? Thoughts? Food / recipe ideas?

Now here's to a night of…
Reading up on this new program. 
Relaxing. 
And… probably a little late night work. (International projects mean meetings at the most random hours. <sigh>. But also great opportunities!) =)

Read On >>>

Love One Another

Like all of my posts, they typically start out from a stirring I have. Either because I read something (in this case), or just something that has been on my heart for a while and I feel the need to say it.

Today's post came from a blog I follow. I've only recently began following it. #SheReadsTruth.

Sidebar - 
Maybe you are new to blogs and wondering how it's possible to follow them, it's easy. Usually you can follow by email, but in all honesty, most of us already get way too many emails to keep up. I'm not sure how I was introduced to it originally (probably from another blog- ha), but an easy way to keep up with the ones you like or want to follow - check out bloglovin. You don't have to have your own blog - I didn't at first. And it shows them all in a feed (similar to Facebook). And you can click on "Mark as Read" if you've already seen it another way, or just aren't interested. Or you can just read all the posts from one blog you follow, whichever. It's pretty cool - and you can follow me there too.

Back to the point of this point - Here is the post I read earlier - http://shereadstruth.com/2014/02/13/love-one-another/

Take a moment and read it. It's really good.

Now, I know some of you can be put off by overly Christian posts, to that, I say, I'm sorry - but it's my blog and I'll do what I want to. Or something like that.. :)

But there is truth here. Regardless of your beliefs. Here is the part that was most - eye-opening / inspiring / just truth telling really - for me. 

"But why equate hating our brothers and sisters with something as horrendous and irreversible as murder?

Because love – the kind of love that Christ lives and teaches – is life-giving.

Because withholding love is withholding the life that only love can give.

Because when we allow negative feelings to grow into hatred, we are essentially standing opposed to another’s well-being, to their very life.

Because hatred is murder in the heart.

The good news? We can choose not to be Cain.We can choose to be life-givers instead of life-takers.

(Lord, may it be so!)"

Wow. Just wow. Because love... I can't be speaking only for myself when I say this, but a lot of us just hate certain people. Maybe they were rude. Maybe they really hurt you. Maybe they did something unthinkable. Maybe even unforgivable.  But when you do that, you let that emotion control you. When you hate something like that, you are feeding the fire within you. And not the good one.

Let's take a step back. If I've learned anything over the past few years on this journey of finding myself in Christ, is that the most unforgivable thing that someone can do to you - something you don't think you could ever forgive. I've learned that you can forgive. It's freeing, and it's part of the healing process. And you need to do it. To relinquish the control that Satan and that hatred have taken over you and just feel the release.

The truth is - people will hurt us. Whether they mean to or not. And the other side is - we can forgive them. It may take time. It may seem impossible at times, but they are human. And as much as you want to play the martyr - to be innocent - the truth is that you are human to. And surely you have hurt someone else as well. Maybe you reason that it's not the same - that this, this ONE thing that they did TO YOU, it was the worst. Is it still not sin? Sin is sin is sin. 

And what if they never ask for forgiveness. And you are being self-righteous and holding out on that release until they do. What then? 

Do you remain miserable and hating that person for the rest of your life?

How sad is that!

I fully believe that the hatred we hold inside of us - it hurts us more than it hurts the other person. They most likely seem themselves free of the situation and moving on (and that's if they even admit they did something wrong in the first place). And there you are, steaming. Spending your precious time here on Earth hating them. 

Maybe you won't ever love them like that. But maybe you will forgive them and let that hatred go at least. And whether you choose to admit it or not. That forgiveness - it helps YOU. It helps you heal. It helps you have peace again. 

In doing that, you are loving. Loving yourself enough to know that enough is enough. 

The most poignant line (to me) in the excerpt above is "Because hatred is murder in the heart."

This line perfectly illustrates what hatred does to us. In murders us. From the inside out.

Maybe you don't hate someone because they did something to you. Maybe you hate them because they have something you want. Or they accomplished more than you have. Or they seemingly have perfect kids. Or a perfect husband. Or whatever it is. 

Also remember, that even though what you are going through in life seems like the most important thing at the moment. You have no idea what other people are choosing to not share with you. 

As I've opened up to people, I've realized quite a few of these people have stories they aren't so open with initially. It's amazing to know that when you feel like the only person in the world with this particular problem, that there are so many people close to you who have either gone through someone similar (or are going through at the moment) or know someone who has.

And while I'm not saying that you should always be 100% transparent with everyone you meet. When you get to a point in a relationship with someone that you trust them, you respect them and their beliefs, maybe opening up to them with something you are struggling with, maybe it's the right time. Only you can really judge if it's the right time.

But in doing so, in my personal experience, I've found some amazing people to support me. To send me notes of encouragement, or love and hope. And sometimes even just a funny joke. 

I've had some great friendships in the past. Some I thought would never end. But people get caught up in life. Or you do something they don't agree with and they can't or won't support you. It's the right time for these people to walk away. Or you to choose to walk away. 

Friendships matter.

But I still love them. I don't hate them for not supporting me. Sure, it hurts to have a gaping hole where those people once were. But I still love them. For blessing my life as long as they did.

You have to be honest with yourself. And realize that it doesn't matter how long someone has been in your life. 

The truth is - nothing is permanent. 

Life happens. 

Cancer happens. 

Death happens. 

Maybe it's not always that morbid. But you can't control it. You just have to keep on living your life to the best of your ability. And keeping those who add life to your life, keeping them close. And making sure they know they are loved. And sharing your real self with them along the way.

Wow, this post went from love to friendships to well, probably where it was supposed to go. 

Read On >>>

Rescuing Lily

In the past 14 (wow!) years we've been together, we've spent the vast majority of those with TWO dogs. So when our first baby, Abbie, passed away a year and a half ago, obviously we were a little… off… 

We debated on getting a puppy. I mean, it's nice to have dogs that are potty trained, and the idea of getting new carpet is a bonus. But our own longing, not to mention our daughter's, became a little strong. One of her few Christmas wishes that she documented at school was a "real dog" and a "swimming pool". That girl! Obviously neither of those happened in time for Christmas.

It actually wasn't even that that threw us over the edge. A friend of mine posted a "free" miniature dachshund (like Abbie was) to a good home. And as we talked about how much we would like to add to our family, it became apparent that as much as we loved Abbie, we would much rather have another boxer.

Our boxer has been with us since she was 5.5 weeks old (she just recently turned 12), and has been amazing to say the least. 

At this point, we begin to look at the local Boxer Rescue. And man, if I wasn't attached to the majority of the dogs there. There is just something about those faces…

About that same time, we began to hear about a little girl there named Lily. 

She was approximately 5-6 years old. Nearly identical in looks to our boxer, Belle. And just being brought in from the shelter.  She wasn't fixed, and she had a few tumors. Moving from the shelter (they weren't sure how long she had actually been there), she spent the weekend at the vet. First having her spay surgery, and having two tumors removed. 

From our perspective, she seemed to fit the "bill" of what we were looking for. An older boxer - potty trained, a female, and seemingly sweet and easy going. So we sent a message to the rescue to get an application for adoption, and we began to review it. We filled it out and turned it in over the weekend. 

The following Monday, she was released from the vet and transported to the Boxer Rescue.

Next, they posted pictures of this sweet girl at the rescue and I just knew that we needed to meet her. 

At this point, I did realize that there were real chances that this was NOT the right dog for us. We have a 7yo daughter and a 12yo boxer. And for us to really commit to rescuing a dog, the dog would have to fit with our current family.

Wednesday rolls around and we have our home visit. I was a bit nervous. What would this mean? What would they ask? Or look for? But really, it was very simple. Marian came by and we talked about our past animals and our family. She met Belle, our boxer. And made sure that our yard was fenced in properly, etc. All very basic. At the end of the visit, she informed me that we had been approved. Woohoo!

Next, I called the Rescue Director and scheduled a "meet and greet" with Lily that afternoon. I picked up Kate from school with Belle and we drove the 45 minutes down to the Rescue to meet her. 

I was a bit nervous. Belle has been used to smaller dogs being around, and has been exposed to larger dogs, but you just never know. They greeted each other at the gate and sniffed around. After separating Lily from the other boxers at the rescue, we introduced them face to face with each other. They would sniff and greet each other, and things were just so easy. 

As a side note, this adorable jacket - I'll be getting two before too long. 

You can order one here.

As we transitioned inside, more of the same. Belle was a little nervous being in a new place  and thus panted much of the time, but was doing really well with Lily. Lily just made herself at home in my lap. She would just climb right in my lap, and give me kisses. Just a doll.

With daddy's (my husband) blessing, we committed to adopting this sweet girl on the spot. We planned to pick her up on Friday afternoon. Just 48 hours later. And man, you would think that time would fly, but it didn't. Kate drew many pictures for Lily to welcome her to her new home. She asked tons of questions about where she would sleep, and when we would take her on walks, etc. Just completely excited.

Friday night, Kate had plans with a friend, so my amazing mother in law and I drove the 45 minutes down to the rescue ranch to pick up Lily. Let me just take a moment to say how awesome this place is. I love the mission, the people, the dogs. Jeanne, the director of the rescue hosts these amazing animals at her own house. This is her mission and she is an amazing ambassador. You can tell just speaking with her that she has a passion for her work and truly wants to educate you and put the right dog in the right home. Thank you Jeanne for your devotion to each and everyone of the 160+ dogs you have rehomed and rehabilitated.

As we left the rescue, I went to open the back door and move some of Kate's things around in the back so that Lily could get in, but nope. She had other plans. None of which included me doing anything before she got in. She loaded right up in the back seat. And as we made our way home, she laid down and was a great car rider. 

When we finally reached home, and Lily closer to meeting her new daddy for the first time, she got right out of the car and ran in the house greeting him in the doorway like she already knew him and was finally home. After some obligatory sniffing around the house and running around, we took her outside to show her the backyard. Afterwards, these two were finally reunited. And already becoming fast friends.

 

After a little while, we crated Lily just to give her a chance to take it all in and relax before Kate made her way home. When Kate came home 30 minutes or so later, she brought all of her little friends in to meet Lily, and I'm proud to say, Lily was more of the same. Well behaved and just a sweet girl.

As bedtime approached, we put Lily in the kennel in our bathroom. And I'm proud to say, she slept all thru the night. 

The weekend has just been so easy, and fun. Lily loves to sing, dance, stand on her hind legs, and just be close to each of us. And when I say sing. I mean sing. Pull out the harmonica, no skills required, and she sings along.

I love it. And it's produced many giggles from a certain little girl over the weekend. Hello new party trick. (Lily doesn't mind at all - especially if you have treats).

Today, Monday, we went and got her stitches removed. She did great. Maybe I've just had way too much experience with a high maintenance dog for a while, but when the guy went to snip the stitches, she just looked at him and let him do it. No worries for this girl. She just goes with the flow. However, the waiting room was another story. She really wanted to get to the talking parrot the office has. The one that kept telling her "Hi. Hi there." What a little taunter he was… Haha.

Overall, I believe this is most definitely one of the best decisions we have made in a while. She has brought so much joy, fun and love to our little family in such a short period of time. She's definitely turning out to be a great sister to this old girl. Which just makes my heart swell.

The more I think about it. The more I begin to think that we didn't actually rescue Lily after all. I believe she's rescued us. And I thank God for that.

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